Jack Zimmermann and the Superfan

freakthefrogout:

What I really really want is for Jack Zimmermann to be doing PR and meeting fans and there’s a person in line who is just vibrating in excitement. 

• Jack sees them down a few people back in the line and mentally starts preparing himself for this encounter (he dealt with Chowder for a year, he can do this, right?)

• So when the person gets to the front of the line, Jack smiles his media smile, all big and fake, but inviting and the person is all, “OH MY GOD! YOU’RE JACK ZIMMERMANN!”

• and Jack starts to say something, but– “OH MY GOD. YOU KNOW ERIC BITTLE!

• And Jack has an internal freak out, because random person knows my boyfriend, what do i do? WHAT DO I DO?

• And person is all, “CAN YOU GIVE ERIC BITTLE THIS ROLLING PIN? Please? I won my county fair pie baking contest from watching his vlog and he’s amazing and my hero and omg!” *breaks into tears because they met someone who’s met their fav* and is basically #nochill

• All the other Falconer’s are looking at the scene like, wtf is even happening right now? Why is there a rolling pin and a crying person in front of Zimmermann? (Tater went to the bathroom or something)
•  (or alternately, he’s like, Zimmboni? Why do you know so many bakers, your gf, this eric bittle? and then, in the back of his head, he’s all, oh. maybe its just one person?” The seed has been planted.)
•  (Basically, I want Tater to figure it out and be super supportive. But, I digress.)

• Jack, meanwhile cannot keep the largest, most genuine grin off of his face because this is so adorable, Bitty has a FAN. *Heart eyes*

• so then he’s all, yeah, I know Bittle. I talked to him last week. (*sweats* don’t be too obvious jack. It was really 20 minutes ago.)

• So Jack takes the rolling pin and the person just keeps thanking him profusely and is so gracious that Jack asks if they’re on twitter.
• Imagine twitter-inept Jack Zimmermann painstakingly taking down their twitter info so he can give it to Bitty, because he knows that Bitty will want it.

• or BETTER YET, Bitty (and the rest of SMH) will be at the game and Jack tells a manager or whoever to put this really cool person on the guest list for after the game because, damn it, Bitty needs to be appreciated, but Jack wants to see it! 
• Also, this is grade A chirp material, and Jack Zimmermann is a lot of things, but willing to pass up an opportunity to chirp his bf is not one of them. 

• Jack hands the rolling pin back to the fan and tells them to hang around after the game, he has an idea. 

• And that’s the story of how Eric Bittle met his number 1 fan. (But not in a creepy, stalky kind of way. Homie is chill when not fangirl/boying everywhere.) 

• And Bitty signs his first rolling pin, which eventually becomes a thing when he becomes famous for his vlog/cooking show.
• Everyone from Taylor Swift to Obama covet an Eric Bittle Rolling Pin.
• Bitty almost dies when he gets a message from Beyoncé. 
• She really wants one of those pins (and maybe a lemon pie to go with her lemonade).
• Bitty invites her on the show.
•  It’s the highest viewed hour special of the year.