dirkar:

Imagine if Kanaya took an uncomfortable interest in the continuation of the human species as well.

She keeps guiding John and Roxy into bedrooms and then leaving them alone like oh don’t mind me Biologically Mature Humans I’ll just be in the other room. You two just get up to whatever you feel like. Don’t be alarmed if you hear romantic music, this speaker system is a little glitchy. Whoops, didn’t mean to drop all these rose petals. Isn’t it funny how things just happen like that?

The condom stash starts to mysteriously disappear.

Jane makes an offhand comment that she wouldn’t mind being a mother someday and wakes up to a package containing no less than 17 human baby onesies.

At one point Dirk has to sit a very distraught Kanaya down and explain to her that him and Jake aren’t going to be making babies anytime soon. It’s a very uncomfortable discussion full of terrible Dirkisms for sex and Jake’s face gets so red at one point he has to excuse himself.

Rose is laughing through all of this btw.